Earlier this week there was a news story about student cheating at Stanford. This was followed up with examples of other cheating at most of our college campuses. When interviewed, most students attitudes were " everybody cheats, in life and everything else so it's not a big deal". I can hardly blame our current crop of future leaders for having this attitude. Just think about the past 20+ years and the list of politicians that have cheated on their wives, husbands, expense accounts, taxes and credentials. We have had religious leaders convicted as pedophiles, scam artist and hypocrites of their own preachings. We have had law enforcement individuals convicted of taking and offering bribes. Teachers and school coaches have been convicted of having sex with underage students. Court Judges profiting from their legal decisions. Leaders on Wall Street cheating their investors, financial advisers stealing from their friends and clients, corporations selling dangerous products from cars to food in order to satisfy their own greed. Banks and Savings and Loans that prey on susceptible borrowers. Now, this morning, we are told that the Better Business Bureau has been caught SELLING their highest ratings to businesses that pay the most money. To have this lack of integrity, honor and ethics become the norm for our great country is ,I feel, due to the complacency of the masses. When it started is hard to identify, ( Watergate scandal, Monica Lewinsky, a fake war??) but it will not end until we demand a higher level of behavior from our leaders and ourselves. Let's all take inventory of our own actions and pledge to neither act in nor accept unscrupulous behavior.

Things are not getting any better for our economy and, as usual, it is the the middle class that is shrinking more and more. All the companies that were saved by our tax dollars are doing just fine and seem to be making profits once again. To celebrate, they reward their management with large bonus checks. Meanwhile, the banks are refusing to lend money to the average taxpayer. It will come as no surprise when the Democrats lose and lose big in the November election. Our entire economic melt down was caused by the finance industry and their greedy culture but it is the average taxpayer that continues to pay the price. Our government has not held them accountable to any degree and bailed them out without any conditions attached.

On another subject, I would like to know when our country changed from being the "land of the free" to the "land of the free ride". There has been more money spent on protecting the illegal alien than on helping the average citizen get through these tough economic times. This past week I saw an article about some illegal workers here in California complaining that they are not being paid as much as legal citizens. They claim that they do not get overtime and are required to work more than eight hours a day. I think the answer to this is simple, slap the employer with a very hefty fine and send all the illegal workers back to their country where I am sure they will be treated better than here.

This country has been turned upside down. The corporate culture is one of greed and corruption. Ethics, honor, fairness and integrity have become vanishing characteristics in the leaders of industry and government. Double speak is the norm and character is no longer an admired trait.

It has been a while since my last posting but the life of a retiree is action packed to say the least. I have had to endure the frustration of an exceedingly
large tax bill, I have fallen twice, once at my daughters when we were walking and once from a ladder when I was trying to install a solar shade for my container garden. In addition, my back started acting up again so I have reacquainted myself with the Chiropractor.Now, let's move on to the more important items affecting our lives.

The level of greed from corporations coupled with the level of corruption within our government continues to negatively impact the working citizen. The latest example is, of course, the oil spill in the Gulf. Information continues to leak out at a lesser rate than the oil but no less of an impact to our lives. It seems this latest disaster was caused by BP trying to cut corners in their maintenance responsibilities. In addition, it seems that Halli Burton was involved through their ship-shod work on the concrete portion of the well. You remember Halli Burton, the company with whom our previous Vice President was intimately involved. Even though the oil disaster has grabbed the major portion of the headlines, it did not go unnoticed that Johnson & Johnson has been cited for poor quality control of it's plants which has resulted in a recall of several of its over the counter drugs.

So, let's review, top banks, investment companies, insurance companies, oil companies, drug companies, auto manufacturers, coal mining companies and most likely others that I cannot remember at this moment, have let their greed override their responsibility for safety and ethics to the public and their employees. They have been able to do this in large, very large, part because of the lack of regulations put upon them by our Government. The reduction in oversight and regulations began when Ronald Regan was President. It is not that his idea was bad, it is just that it grew under his and all succeeding Presidents. The lobbyists for these industries began to enjoy unprecedented access and influence among our elected politicians. Now that the results of this deregulation has reached epic and negative proportions and Washington is trying to implement some regulations back on these industries, they are calling "foul" and crying that it will hurt business overall. This bunch of soulless, dishonorable, greedy, unethical, leeches doesn't want the government to have any oversight of their business but want their lobbyist to have unfettered access to the bunch of weak willed, unethical, greedy, vapid, dishonorable, leeches we have voted into office. Now I am really upset!!!

I was watching a program on television recently in which some prostitutes were being arrested. This got me thinking about how many people call this a victimless crime. I admit, I have agreed with this thinking because it is a contract between two consenting adults. My thinking was that if it were to be legalized there would be no need for "pimps", no need for taxpayer money to be spent on the legal process and a ton of money to be generated by taxing this profession. In addition, jobs would be generated by some of the rules and regulations of this new business requiring health insurance, liability insurance and various permits. I know that there are lots of other issues to consider but rather than go into deeper issues I just wanted to share what next came to mind.

I am struck with the thought that prostitution already is one of the largest, ongoing industries in this country and one that has been condoned for years although not in the fashion which most commonly comes to mind. I am thinking more along the lines of our government. We have two major "pimps" or "madams" in this industry, the Republican and Democratic Parties. The actual "prostitutes" are our elected officials and last but not least, the "johns" are the lobbyist. They pay the prostitutes to deliver the goods and our elected officials do so for the benefit of the "pimps/madams". Now, back to this crime being victimless. This crime has more victims than any other crime on the books. The victims are every taxpaying citizen in this country whether they vote or not. Instead of our elected officials, " prostitutes" it is we, the taxpaying citizens that are being screwed. We have been sold out at every level, federal, state and local. What can we do? The simple answer is to organize, unite and fight back. How do we do it? I am not sure, and I am certainly not savvy or connected enough to get anything started but I will be looking for some group, organization or individual that I can join and lend any type of talent I might have to help them.

Our cousins from Tucson have been with us for the past week. Mama P met Linda and Gene in Parker and we all drove back to Ca. together. Gene has been in construction his entire life so the intent was to have him do some things for us around the house. We have no problem taking advantage of any friend or relative that has a talent we can use. Actually Gene enjoys being taken advantage of but his is more of the "fantasy" version. You can only imagine his disappointment when he realized he was to be a beast of burden instead of a "Boy Toy".

As with most plans, ours changed on a daily basis. With the exception of Mama M, we are all retired so, like a bunch of teenagers, we try to avoid anything that resembles work. The first day, we decided to head to L.A. and do the tourist thing. Our youngest, Brooke, surprised us by changing her work schedule so she could spend the day with us. We picked her up and went to Hermosa Beach for breakfast at Scotty's Cafe. Due to road construction, we had to park a couple of blocks away but the day was so nice we did not mind the walk. We put Brooke in charge of taking care of us since she is still young and not prone to mental lapses. She failed her first test by allowing us to miss the walk signal twice because we were distracted by the sights and our conversation. Of course we can't blame Brooke too much, after all she is Blonde.

When we returned to the car we found and unpleasant surprise ******* a parking ticket!! Not one of us noticed the sign posted on the parking meter that stated " No Parking on Thursdays" even though we were all crowded around the meter putting in coins. We again decided it was Brookes' fault since we all have poor vision.

We put it behind us and headed to Rodeo Drive. We walked all over the place gazing at things we couldn't afford, did not like or could not fit into. Gene spent most of his time gazing longingly at the plethora of luxury cars passing by on the street. Linda found a few things she could not live without but really now, isn't that what life is all about???

We left Rodeo Drive and headed to Grauman's for the ritual hand/feet comparison. It had turned quite a bit cooler as the afternoon passed but that did not stop Linda from laying on the sidewalk next to the star for Michael Bolton. Most of the time, I would make fun of people that do that but since she is my cousin how could I do that. I will always defend her right to make a fool of herself in public because I love her.

We also stopped at Farmers Market where Brooke bought a Caramel Apple that was so big it had it's own Zip Code. While we were there we picked up a hot drink at Starbucks. Mama M, Linda and Brooke walked to the Grove where they checked out the American Girl shop. Evidently one of the sales ladies mistook Brooke for a 15 year old and was critical of her mother for allowing her to drink coffee at that young age. She was shocked that Brooke was almost 21. Evidently this sales lady does not pay attention to what is going on in the world as most 15 year olds today have children already. Mama M took it as a compliment that she looked young enough to have a 15 year old. Oh yeah, it's all about Mama M !!

We ended up at the Grand Luxe Cafe. Their food is always good but their Benoits are the best. Around the end of the day Stacey called. When she asked us what places we had been to we couldn't remember!!! We thought our Ace in the hole would be Brooke but sadly, she had contracted the old age disease of CRS because she could not remember either.

Of course a day in L.A. would not be complete without a driving incident. On our way to the freeway, a *&%#@$!! driver cut across us diagonally causing Mama P to slam on the brakes, lay on the horn and spew a length of profanity that continues to this very day when the subject comes up.

Okay, gotta go. We have had our walk for the day and I need to take a shower and get ready to meet some friends for lunch. I will Blog more tomorrow about the rest of their visit.

Parent Abandonment

I will never understand parents that can leave their children for any reason other than death. I can't imagine shirking my responsibility as a parent because it would make my life so much easier. That's what my father chose to do when I was 8 and my brother was 10 years old. He remarried, had two stepsons and he and his new wife had another son and daughter. We were never invited to spend the night at their new house. We shared a few holidays with his new family but it was clear as I looked at the gifts his new children had opened that Christmas morning that we were not in the same category as these new kids. My older brother and I were given one gift to open, shared a meal and taken home. I remember clearly feeling that we did not fit in. As the years went on we rarely saw my dad and no longer expected phone calls let alone a gift for our birthdays. But being blessed with resilience life went on and my brother and I grew up as happy and active children eventually getting married, having children and enjoying successful careers. I called my dad on father's day and his birthday for many years. I would see him on the occasional family gathering or holiday. When my dad and his wife retired they moved quite a distance away making contact even more difficult.
I grew up wanting a real dad like many of my friends had. They had dads that were loving, caring, supportive and would help them during the tough times. But mostly I wanted a dad that would talk to me with respect and in a positive manner. I prayed for that every night. Finally, I gave up. I built up my defense mechanisms and life went on. I have three fabulous children, a great partner, a loving mom, fabulous family and friends, as well as a successful career. I count my blessings daily. I rarely hang on to the past and don't put myself into the victim category.
But now here is my discovery. My dad wants back in my life. I was actually excited that perhaps my prayer was finally going to be answered. He is now 78 years old and his wife had passed away. Was I really going to have my real dad back after 45 years? Well, the answer is not really. First,he admitted that he is reaching out out of guilt. So that says to me that he is doing this for himself not to make anything up to me. Then, he blames his wife for the many years of neglect instead of taking responsibility for his own actions. Finally, it has been brought to my attention that my brother and I will not be in his will because he gave my mother the house when they divorced(His words). Mind you this was 45 years ago and he also left my mother the mortgage. He also paid my mother 45 dollars a month for child support. But of course his other son and daughter will be listed in his will. I have never harbored any negative feelings towards my half sister and brother. I actually like them and care about them. But my dad's words and actions were another slap in my face and a huge dose of reality. I don't need his money but this is evidence that he doesn't care about me. As far as I'm concerned he is leaving me at the side of the curb again. I give up again. My expectations are no more.
I just received a phone call today. It was my dad wanting to meet me(alone)for dinner this weekend. Should I just let this elderly man talk while I enjoy a meal or should I tell him exactly how I feel? He has a heart condition. Is it worth my energy? This is unwanted drama. I like my calm, sometimes crazy life with all of the people that I already have in it. I don't know what I'm going to say but I do know that parents that leave their children for half assed reasons leave a tiny scar for that child's entire life. The scar can be covered so that life can be enjoyed but it pops out every so often to remind you of the kind of person you never want to be.

We are still walking and have managed to work our way up to 2 miles per day. I takes us about an hour but the difficulty is increasing as we try to find streets that go up hill. I am not saying we are official street walkers but we are quite a sight. Mama M usually wears a sweatshirt, a knitted watch cap, gloves and a jacket with a hood. I normally wear a tee shirt, a jacket and a baseball cap on bad hair days only. Some people might say everyday is a bad hair day for me but as long as I don't look like Gumby, I am okay walking without the hat.

After our walk this morning, Mama M took a shower and went to run errands. I did some yard work, including trimming the palms, putting down weed cloth and covering it with the new rubberized mulch. I am so sore and stiff that I don't know if I can make it up the stairs tonight. Mama M might need to wrap a rope around me and drag me up the stairs.

We are trying to see all 10 of the Oscar nominated movies before Oscar night. We have seen 3 so far and here is our opinion on those.

Avatar
We LOVED it!!! We sprung for the extra $3.50 to see it in 3D and it was worth every penny. It is hard to believe that James Cameron envisioned this amazing movie down to having a botanist name all of the vegetation in the movie.

Up In The Air
Another George Clooney movie where he plays George Clooney. We really do not understand how this one got into the running.

The Hurt Locker
We enjoyed this movie even though it is hard to watch. It really looks more like a documentary than a Hollywood movie. It makes it difficult not to have strong negative feelings about the citizens in Iraq. I have to remember that we have people in this country who might react the same way if we were invaded by another country.

We have also seen Julie and Julia, Crazy Heart and It's Complicated.

By far, the movie we have enjoyed the most was It's Complicated. This movie is laugh-out-loud funny.

Julie and Julia is a cute movie to watch but I am not sure that male viewers would enjoy it as much.

Crazy Heart is like a generic version of A Star is Born, the Country Music version. Jeff Bridges does a great job but the story was predictable.

How much of a difference does nine years make??? Here is an example.

Mama P and Mama M have started walking in the morning. We both know that we are in terrible shape and as we get older this will take a terrible toll on our longevity. Mama P is retired but Mama M is still working so Mama P was able to begin walking 5 days earlier than Mama M. Being very enthusiastic, Mama M suggested that we walk to the local supermarket and back. The thing to understand is that the local market is about one mile downhill from our house which means that on the second half of the walk we would be going uphill the entire way. After convincing her that the idea was a good one but maybe a little too aggressive for beginning walkers she agreed to work up to the task by taking a few shorter walks for awhile. So, beginning this past Saturday, she followed me on one of my established routes which incorporates about a mile of walking a combination of uphill, downhill and flat surfaces. On Sunday, we tried a new route which quickly turned into a minor mistake. We got turned around in the housing tract and ended up walking almost 2 miles before we found our way back to the main street and home. We both really felt the sore and stiff that afternoon but were proud of ourselves for the accomplishment.

On Monday, Mama M had sore calfs and I had a pain in my right butt cheek that would not go away. We went back to one of the established routes from before because we did not want to take a chance of injury.

So, to get back to the question at the beginning of this epistle, this morning we decided to try the walk to the local market. We left at 7am when the air was cool and the sky brilliant with the rising sun. Going downhill was easy and we were even able to converse while walking. The problems began on the way back. Once we turned around and started back I realized just how daunting the climb was going to be. Mama M was feeling great and began bounding up the hill at a brisk pace. Here is where the 9 years comes in, that is the difference in our ages. I am 9 years older than her never has it been more evident than on this walk. The pain in my buttock was increasing as quickly as my inability to breathe. The space between us began to widen quickly but I vowed not to give up even as Mama M turned around to mock me. She tried to cover her delight at outpacing me by showing a concern that did not seem very sincere. I think that at one point she even started skipping. I know that she was speaking to me but I couldn't hear her due to the sound of my breathing (wheezing) and my silent screams due to the searing pain in my buttock. All I could think about was how just last week I had explained about the life insurance policy I had that made her the beneficiary. The distance between has grown to the point that I could no longer see her but I could hear her mocking laugh far into the distance.

Well, needless to say, I foiled her diabolical plan and made it home. As I stated before, we left the house at 7am. She returned at 8am. I returned in time for lunch.

Who are we?? We are two mothers that have between us, 4 daughters, 1 son, 1 grandson, 1 son-in-law, 1 soon to be son-in-law( July 4,2010 wedding) and 1 daughter-out-of-law who is the life partner of our gay daughter. Since Ca. does not allow same-sex marriage, we call her our only out-of-law. Hopefully, this situation will resolve itself as voters realize there is no danger to the institution of marriage by allowing gays to wed. After all, having a 50% divorce rate in this country is hardly evidence of the high esteem our society has for marriage.

As mothers, we want our children to have happy and fulfilling lives. We are very proud of them as they are all accomplished. They range in age from 40 to almost 21 with distinctly different personalities. Nothing pleases us more than when they are all together with us which does not happen as often as we wish.

We were both raised with mothers that viewed themselves as "victims" and told us over and over how their childhood was so tough. The truth is closer to them being raised as "divas" and their behavior proved it. When we were young, we believed everything they said, but as we got older we were able to distinguish between their version and reality. Sadly, by this time we had a major case of guilt when we had to ask for something. In my case, I learned to be self sufficient very early because I just couldn't take the heavy sighs, shaking head held in her hands and the whine of " oh, God, how am I supposed to do this".

We are hopeful that we did not pass this trait on to our children as they are all fairly confident problem solvers. Our youngest is still growing in her self confidence. She does not fully realize that with her looks, personality and brains she can be or do anything she wants.

We think all families are dysfunctional to some degree and they always have been. The trick is to organize not agonize. I had some great advice once from a therapist. She said that we cannot change our past but we can change our future by not allowing any of those negative experiences to have power in our adult lives. So, the bottom line is, learn from but don't dwell on the past, be grateful for the good things in your life now and look forward to all the positive things in your future. The glass is always half full on the way to brimming over.

I received the following today from a friend. I think it makes a lot of sense and I urge all to follow suit.

> > Subject: FW: One Light Bulb at a Time..........
> >
> > One Light Bulb at a Time
> > A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while
> > one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very
> > much, a billion of them would.
> >
> > With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a
> > good American with a Good idea ...
> >
> > one light bulb at a time . . . ..
> >
> > Check this out I can verify this because I was in Lowes the other day
> > for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose
> > attachments . They were all made in China The next day I was in Ace
> > Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments
> > there. They were made in USA . Start looking ..
> >
> > In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do
> > affects someone else - even their job .. So, after reading this email,
> > I think this lady is on the right track . Let's get behind her!
> >
> > My grandson likes Hershey's candy . I noticed, though, that it is
> > marked made in Mexico now .. I do not buy it any more.
> >
> > My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico ... now I have
> > switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything ..
> >
> > This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60 W light bulbs and
> > Bounce dryer sheets . I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to
> > the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled, "Everyday Value
> > . " I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were
> > the same except for the price ... The GE bulbs were more money than the
> > Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the
> > fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made
> > in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland , Ohio ..
> >
> > So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day
> > that are made right here ..
> > So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets . .. . yep , you guessed
> > it, bounce cost more money and is made in Canada . The Everyday Value
> > brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA ! I did laundry yesterday and
> > the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using
> > for years and at almost half the price!
> >
> > My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for
> > everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA -
> > the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!
> >
> > If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address
> > book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time!
> > Stop buying from overseas companies!
> > (We should have awakened a decade ago .. . .. . . . )
> >
> > Let's get with the program . . . .. help our fellow Americans keep
> > their jobs and create more jobs here in the U . S . A ..

Our famous but inept Gov. Schwarzenegger is in Washington begging for money. He has blamed California's congressional delegation for failing to procure more funding for our state. California pays into the Federal government more than we get back and he wants the $6.9 billion difference to help close the $20 billion budget gap we have now. I would ask Arnold how much sense does it make for him and the top Republican and Democratic members of the state Assembly and Senate to spend money our State does not have to make this trip. Our State is in such dire financial straits that instead of going to the expense of flying a group of politicians to Washington where they will, no doubt, stay in the finest hotels and dine at the finest restaurants, he show some fiscal restraint and use the technology available for video conferencing or better yet, keep your butts at home and spend time figuring out how to solve our budget crisis. Our State politicians should be ashamed of themselves for continuing to pass legislation that increases our budget deficit during this crisis.

Over the time Arnold has been in office our State was enjoying the biggest increase in property taxes in decades and they spent every penny and more. Our State and Federal politicians cannot do what the average tax payer must do, keep spending in line with revenue.

Another day full of gloom and doom according to the news in print, on the radio and TV. We say, don't listen to any of it and just take care of yourself and your family the best you can. We already know that you cannot count on anybody or anything except your close personal group of friends and family and sometimes not even your family.

One of the interesting things I saw in the paper today was an advertisement for a "high yield" savings account. The "high yield" was 1.5%. Financial institutions are advertising their generous rates for savings and CDs that range from 1.5-4.3% and yet their credit card rates for ongoing balances are in the 20+%. Consumers have more information available to us than ever before on how these institutions do business and yet we continue to ignore the warnings and dive head first into the trap of spending more than we earn. We know how difficult it is to restrain ourselves because we are used to buying what we want and paying for it later. We have forgotten one of the most important facts of life, that being CASH IS KING!! If you cannot pay cash for that item that is your current hearts desire, don't buy it.

Opinions Without Follow-thru Is How We Got Here

We have just witnessed a major upset to the Democratic party and the Obama administration with the election of a Republican to fill the Kennedy senate seat in Mass.. The Democrats have spent the last year squandering a major gift the voting public gave them, sixty votes. In my opinion, they have been outright stupid in holding their votes ransom on not just the healthcare bill but on everything Obama has tried to do. Instead of using their mandate to improve the situation for all Americans, they became a bunch of spoiled, selfish children trying to gather as many toys for themselves as possible.

Don't get me wrong, I do not think the Republicans would have done anything different. They have let themselves become the party whose only agenda is to cripple President Obama. They are not making decisions based on what needs to be done to improve our country but rather what needs to be done to put a Republican in office in 2012.

Both parties do a lot of shaming and blaming instead of putting forth ideas and plans that would benefit the average American. The really sad part is that it is the fault of the average American as evidenced by voter turnout. Yes, we are a country of free speech and almost everybody has an opinion but the majority of people with opinions only want to talk the talk instead of registering to vote and actually voting.