Parent Abandonment

I will never understand parents that can leave their children for any reason other than death. I can't imagine shirking my responsibility as a parent because it would make my life so much easier. That's what my father chose to do when I was 8 and my brother was 10 years old. He remarried, had two stepsons and he and his new wife had another son and daughter. We were never invited to spend the night at their new house. We shared a few holidays with his new family but it was clear as I looked at the gifts his new children had opened that Christmas morning that we were not in the same category as these new kids. My older brother and I were given one gift to open, shared a meal and taken home. I remember clearly feeling that we did not fit in. As the years went on we rarely saw my dad and no longer expected phone calls let alone a gift for our birthdays. But being blessed with resilience life went on and my brother and I grew up as happy and active children eventually getting married, having children and enjoying successful careers. I called my dad on father's day and his birthday for many years. I would see him on the occasional family gathering or holiday. When my dad and his wife retired they moved quite a distance away making contact even more difficult.
I grew up wanting a real dad like many of my friends had. They had dads that were loving, caring, supportive and would help them during the tough times. But mostly I wanted a dad that would talk to me with respect and in a positive manner. I prayed for that every night. Finally, I gave up. I built up my defense mechanisms and life went on. I have three fabulous children, a great partner, a loving mom, fabulous family and friends, as well as a successful career. I count my blessings daily. I rarely hang on to the past and don't put myself into the victim category.
But now here is my discovery. My dad wants back in my life. I was actually excited that perhaps my prayer was finally going to be answered. He is now 78 years old and his wife had passed away. Was I really going to have my real dad back after 45 years? Well, the answer is not really. First,he admitted that he is reaching out out of guilt. So that says to me that he is doing this for himself not to make anything up to me. Then, he blames his wife for the many years of neglect instead of taking responsibility for his own actions. Finally, it has been brought to my attention that my brother and I will not be in his will because he gave my mother the house when they divorced(His words). Mind you this was 45 years ago and he also left my mother the mortgage. He also paid my mother 45 dollars a month for child support. But of course his other son and daughter will be listed in his will. I have never harbored any negative feelings towards my half sister and brother. I actually like them and care about them. But my dad's words and actions were another slap in my face and a huge dose of reality. I don't need his money but this is evidence that he doesn't care about me. As far as I'm concerned he is leaving me at the side of the curb again. I give up again. My expectations are no more.
I just received a phone call today. It was my dad wanting to meet me(alone)for dinner this weekend. Should I just let this elderly man talk while I enjoy a meal or should I tell him exactly how I feel? He has a heart condition. Is it worth my energy? This is unwanted drama. I like my calm, sometimes crazy life with all of the people that I already have in it. I don't know what I'm going to say but I do know that parents that leave their children for half assed reasons leave a tiny scar for that child's entire life. The scar can be covered so that life can be enjoyed but it pops out every so often to remind you of the kind of person you never want to be.