Our cousins from Tucson have been with us for the past week. Mama P met Linda and Gene in Parker and we all drove back to Ca. together. Gene has been in construction his entire life so the intent was to have him do some things for us around the house. We have no problem taking advantage of any friend or relative that has a talent we can use. Actually Gene enjoys being taken advantage of but his is more of the "fantasy" version. You can only imagine his disappointment when he realized he was to be a beast of burden instead of a "Boy Toy".

As with most plans, ours changed on a daily basis. With the exception of Mama M, we are all retired so, like a bunch of teenagers, we try to avoid anything that resembles work. The first day, we decided to head to L.A. and do the tourist thing. Our youngest, Brooke, surprised us by changing her work schedule so she could spend the day with us. We picked her up and went to Hermosa Beach for breakfast at Scotty's Cafe. Due to road construction, we had to park a couple of blocks away but the day was so nice we did not mind the walk. We put Brooke in charge of taking care of us since she is still young and not prone to mental lapses. She failed her first test by allowing us to miss the walk signal twice because we were distracted by the sights and our conversation. Of course we can't blame Brooke too much, after all she is Blonde.

When we returned to the car we found and unpleasant surprise ******* a parking ticket!! Not one of us noticed the sign posted on the parking meter that stated " No Parking on Thursdays" even though we were all crowded around the meter putting in coins. We again decided it was Brookes' fault since we all have poor vision.

We put it behind us and headed to Rodeo Drive. We walked all over the place gazing at things we couldn't afford, did not like or could not fit into. Gene spent most of his time gazing longingly at the plethora of luxury cars passing by on the street. Linda found a few things she could not live without but really now, isn't that what life is all about???

We left Rodeo Drive and headed to Grauman's for the ritual hand/feet comparison. It had turned quite a bit cooler as the afternoon passed but that did not stop Linda from laying on the sidewalk next to the star for Michael Bolton. Most of the time, I would make fun of people that do that but since she is my cousin how could I do that. I will always defend her right to make a fool of herself in public because I love her.

We also stopped at Farmers Market where Brooke bought a Caramel Apple that was so big it had it's own Zip Code. While we were there we picked up a hot drink at Starbucks. Mama M, Linda and Brooke walked to the Grove where they checked out the American Girl shop. Evidently one of the sales ladies mistook Brooke for a 15 year old and was critical of her mother for allowing her to drink coffee at that young age. She was shocked that Brooke was almost 21. Evidently this sales lady does not pay attention to what is going on in the world as most 15 year olds today have children already. Mama M took it as a compliment that she looked young enough to have a 15 year old. Oh yeah, it's all about Mama M !!

We ended up at the Grand Luxe Cafe. Their food is always good but their Benoits are the best. Around the end of the day Stacey called. When she asked us what places we had been to we couldn't remember!!! We thought our Ace in the hole would be Brooke but sadly, she had contracted the old age disease of CRS because she could not remember either.

Of course a day in L.A. would not be complete without a driving incident. On our way to the freeway, a *&%#@$!! driver cut across us diagonally causing Mama P to slam on the brakes, lay on the horn and spew a length of profanity that continues to this very day when the subject comes up.

Okay, gotta go. We have had our walk for the day and I need to take a shower and get ready to meet some friends for lunch. I will Blog more tomorrow about the rest of their visit.

Parent Abandonment

I will never understand parents that can leave their children for any reason other than death. I can't imagine shirking my responsibility as a parent because it would make my life so much easier. That's what my father chose to do when I was 8 and my brother was 10 years old. He remarried, had two stepsons and he and his new wife had another son and daughter. We were never invited to spend the night at their new house. We shared a few holidays with his new family but it was clear as I looked at the gifts his new children had opened that Christmas morning that we were not in the same category as these new kids. My older brother and I were given one gift to open, shared a meal and taken home. I remember clearly feeling that we did not fit in. As the years went on we rarely saw my dad and no longer expected phone calls let alone a gift for our birthdays. But being blessed with resilience life went on and my brother and I grew up as happy and active children eventually getting married, having children and enjoying successful careers. I called my dad on father's day and his birthday for many years. I would see him on the occasional family gathering or holiday. When my dad and his wife retired they moved quite a distance away making contact even more difficult.
I grew up wanting a real dad like many of my friends had. They had dads that were loving, caring, supportive and would help them during the tough times. But mostly I wanted a dad that would talk to me with respect and in a positive manner. I prayed for that every night. Finally, I gave up. I built up my defense mechanisms and life went on. I have three fabulous children, a great partner, a loving mom, fabulous family and friends, as well as a successful career. I count my blessings daily. I rarely hang on to the past and don't put myself into the victim category.
But now here is my discovery. My dad wants back in my life. I was actually excited that perhaps my prayer was finally going to be answered. He is now 78 years old and his wife had passed away. Was I really going to have my real dad back after 45 years? Well, the answer is not really. First,he admitted that he is reaching out out of guilt. So that says to me that he is doing this for himself not to make anything up to me. Then, he blames his wife for the many years of neglect instead of taking responsibility for his own actions. Finally, it has been brought to my attention that my brother and I will not be in his will because he gave my mother the house when they divorced(His words). Mind you this was 45 years ago and he also left my mother the mortgage. He also paid my mother 45 dollars a month for child support. But of course his other son and daughter will be listed in his will. I have never harbored any negative feelings towards my half sister and brother. I actually like them and care about them. But my dad's words and actions were another slap in my face and a huge dose of reality. I don't need his money but this is evidence that he doesn't care about me. As far as I'm concerned he is leaving me at the side of the curb again. I give up again. My expectations are no more.
I just received a phone call today. It was my dad wanting to meet me(alone)for dinner this weekend. Should I just let this elderly man talk while I enjoy a meal or should I tell him exactly how I feel? He has a heart condition. Is it worth my energy? This is unwanted drama. I like my calm, sometimes crazy life with all of the people that I already have in it. I don't know what I'm going to say but I do know that parents that leave their children for half assed reasons leave a tiny scar for that child's entire life. The scar can be covered so that life can be enjoyed but it pops out every so often to remind you of the kind of person you never want to be.

We are still walking and have managed to work our way up to 2 miles per day. I takes us about an hour but the difficulty is increasing as we try to find streets that go up hill. I am not saying we are official street walkers but we are quite a sight. Mama M usually wears a sweatshirt, a knitted watch cap, gloves and a jacket with a hood. I normally wear a tee shirt, a jacket and a baseball cap on bad hair days only. Some people might say everyday is a bad hair day for me but as long as I don't look like Gumby, I am okay walking without the hat.

After our walk this morning, Mama M took a shower and went to run errands. I did some yard work, including trimming the palms, putting down weed cloth and covering it with the new rubberized mulch. I am so sore and stiff that I don't know if I can make it up the stairs tonight. Mama M might need to wrap a rope around me and drag me up the stairs.

We are trying to see all 10 of the Oscar nominated movies before Oscar night. We have seen 3 so far and here is our opinion on those.

Avatar
We LOVED it!!! We sprung for the extra $3.50 to see it in 3D and it was worth every penny. It is hard to believe that James Cameron envisioned this amazing movie down to having a botanist name all of the vegetation in the movie.

Up In The Air
Another George Clooney movie where he plays George Clooney. We really do not understand how this one got into the running.

The Hurt Locker
We enjoyed this movie even though it is hard to watch. It really looks more like a documentary than a Hollywood movie. It makes it difficult not to have strong negative feelings about the citizens in Iraq. I have to remember that we have people in this country who might react the same way if we were invaded by another country.

We have also seen Julie and Julia, Crazy Heart and It's Complicated.

By far, the movie we have enjoyed the most was It's Complicated. This movie is laugh-out-loud funny.

Julie and Julia is a cute movie to watch but I am not sure that male viewers would enjoy it as much.

Crazy Heart is like a generic version of A Star is Born, the Country Music version. Jeff Bridges does a great job but the story was predictable.

How much of a difference does nine years make??? Here is an example.

Mama P and Mama M have started walking in the morning. We both know that we are in terrible shape and as we get older this will take a terrible toll on our longevity. Mama P is retired but Mama M is still working so Mama P was able to begin walking 5 days earlier than Mama M. Being very enthusiastic, Mama M suggested that we walk to the local supermarket and back. The thing to understand is that the local market is about one mile downhill from our house which means that on the second half of the walk we would be going uphill the entire way. After convincing her that the idea was a good one but maybe a little too aggressive for beginning walkers she agreed to work up to the task by taking a few shorter walks for awhile. So, beginning this past Saturday, she followed me on one of my established routes which incorporates about a mile of walking a combination of uphill, downhill and flat surfaces. On Sunday, we tried a new route which quickly turned into a minor mistake. We got turned around in the housing tract and ended up walking almost 2 miles before we found our way back to the main street and home. We both really felt the sore and stiff that afternoon but were proud of ourselves for the accomplishment.

On Monday, Mama M had sore calfs and I had a pain in my right butt cheek that would not go away. We went back to one of the established routes from before because we did not want to take a chance of injury.

So, to get back to the question at the beginning of this epistle, this morning we decided to try the walk to the local market. We left at 7am when the air was cool and the sky brilliant with the rising sun. Going downhill was easy and we were even able to converse while walking. The problems began on the way back. Once we turned around and started back I realized just how daunting the climb was going to be. Mama M was feeling great and began bounding up the hill at a brisk pace. Here is where the 9 years comes in, that is the difference in our ages. I am 9 years older than her never has it been more evident than on this walk. The pain in my buttock was increasing as quickly as my inability to breathe. The space between us began to widen quickly but I vowed not to give up even as Mama M turned around to mock me. She tried to cover her delight at outpacing me by showing a concern that did not seem very sincere. I think that at one point she even started skipping. I know that she was speaking to me but I couldn't hear her due to the sound of my breathing (wheezing) and my silent screams due to the searing pain in my buttock. All I could think about was how just last week I had explained about the life insurance policy I had that made her the beneficiary. The distance between has grown to the point that I could no longer see her but I could hear her mocking laugh far into the distance.

Well, needless to say, I foiled her diabolical plan and made it home. As I stated before, we left the house at 7am. She returned at 8am. I returned in time for lunch.